Saddam gets cranky

This just in from CNN.com...

As court was adjourning for the day in his trial, Saddam Hussein suddenly shouted that he would not attend Wednesday's session. "I will not be in a court without justice. Go to hell, all you agents of America," he said. He also complained that he had been wearing the same shirt and underwear for three days.

Um, that's a little bit too much information. And what was that thing about him doing his laundry in the presence of his guards in the immediate days following his capture? Has he suddenly forgotten how to wash clothes?

That thing I was saying...

OK, so a little while ago I was griping about limited release films; that is, the films that are always advertised as "... starts this Friday in selected cities." Among such current films are "Good Night, and Good Luck" and "Capote." I figured they'd never come to Athens. Well, I was wrong. Just saw "Good Night, and Good Luck" and with a little luck (and time) "Capote" will be taken care of as well.

Hey, I have no problem being wrong. At least I get to see the movies that I want to see. Not like "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." Holy crap. For a football weekend, there sure wasn't a shortage of people eager to see "Goblet of Fire." Both evening shows were sold out by the time I got to the theater. Dag. Oh well, I guess I'll be seeing that one over Thanksgiving,

Cranky rant of the day

This is directed at the art house film studio marketing geniuses. "Now showing in selected cities." Translation: For those of you who don't live in New York or Los Angeles, we'll show this movie in your local theaters when you learn how to read. Gee, thanks. Now I'll never get to see movies like "Capote" or "Good Night and Good Luck." There's a better chance that a snowball will come out of a blast furnace intact than the chance that either of these movies are going to show up in Athens.

Vampires!

(Click on image for larger version.)

President Bush nominates replacement for Justice O'Connor...

... and it's Supreme Chancellor Palpatine? Gah.

Cranky rant of the day

OK, this is directed at the marketing geniuses at Coa-Cola who came up with the idea of updating "I'd LIke to Teach the World to Sing" as "I'd Like to Teach the World to Chill": Chill on this, motherf*ckers! For cryin' out loud... "I'd Like to Teach the World to Chill." Someone ought to teach the marketing department how to pull their heads out of their collective asses, that's what ought to be taught.

What was that about "government... for the people?"

From today's edition of "All Things Considered," here's a two-part chronology of how contingency plans were originally envisioned as Hurricane Katrina approached the Gulf Coast, followed by how those plans completely fell apart.

Après moi, le déluge

Or not, perhaps.

So, it's been ten days since Hurricane Katrina ripped through the Gulf Coast and left devastation in her wake. The dumbfounding missteps at all governmental levels have been well documented. And yet, I can't help but feel that the Bush administration is operating with the mindset that everything that has transpired has done so in the only manner possible.

If given the chance to reconsider decisions, should such decisions have been decided in a different manner? Of course. Certainly, the New Orleans city government should have had made contingency plans to evacuate its citizens in advance of Katrina's landfall. And yes, the system of levees that was supposed to protect New Orleans from just such a disaster to which we've just borne witness should have received funding from the Federal government for structural improvements. Would these same decisions have resulted in different outcomes that could have prevented this tragedy? Could they have resulted in different outcomes? It saddens me when I come to the conclusion that the answer is: No. Certainly at the Federal level, I don't expect any outcome other than the one we've experienced.

Welcome to Bushworld, where, as Maureen Dowd describes it, "It's their reality. We just live and die in it." In this best of all possible worlds, President Bush plays Candide to Karl Rove's Pangloss. Everything that transpires does so because it was meant to be so and cannot possibly result in any other outcome than that which has transpired.

We are so screwed.

Holy crap

Or maybe: "When MRI magnets attack..."



(Click on either image for the full story.)

More ursine wackiness

Ur? Did I do something wrong? (Click on the image for the full story.)

Platypi!

(Click on the image for a larger version.)

Water, water, everywhere

As if "Dark Water" wasn't creepy enough, now comes news of a woman charged with a water bill of $74,000. Gah.

Fun with science, part IV

More specifically, William F. Buckley, Jr. believes in God, but not the scientific method. To quote his contribution to "This I Believe":

This I believe: that it is intellectually easier to credit a divine intelligence than to submit dumbly to felicitous congeries about nature.

This I wonder: has Mr. Buckley, Jr. ever taken penicillin, a drug whose antibiotic effects were deduced and demonstrated by the very methods he seems to have no confidence in?

Krazy kable hijinks

So, last Wednesday, I came home late after a long day in lab. Looking forward to the two episodes of "The Inside" that I had programmed my VCR to tape, I noticed that my cable had gone out (no signal on my cable modem). My first thought was, "OK, maybe the signal just went out so maybe the VCR was still able to tape it." No such luck. Rewound the tape and all I had was static. Called the cable company and got the "We are experiencing outages due to inclement weather" message. (To be fair, Hurricane Dennis was approaching the Gulf Coast. The crappy weather was kind of like the way the Silver Surfer used to announce the arrival of Galactus. Except that no one's homeworld got eaten for lunch.) Finally got through to a human operator and was told that they would send someone over to take a look. To sum up: came home tired, no TV, no Internet connection. Oh well, maybe I'll read a book. (Actually, I think I watched "Hellboy" again.)

Came home the next day, still no TV signal or Internet connection. Spoke with another representative at the cable company and this time, after a little snooping, he concluded that someone was trying to steal my cable because none of my neighbors were having problems with their cable. He said he'd put in a request for someone to come over to the building and fix my cable connection. The score thus far: still no TV, still no Internet connection, and I had missed "Beauty and the Geek" not once, but twice. Crap.

OK, so now it's Friday. Came home and saw that my Internet connection had been restored. So far, so good. How about the TV? Turned on the TV only to discover that I was receiving less than half the channels I had been receiving for the better part of a year and a half. And of course, leave it to my luck that the channels that I was no longer receiving were the ones I watched the most (e.g. - Cartoon Network, SciFi Channel, ESPN, the History Channel). Called the cable company yet again. Turns out that I wasn't supposed to be receiving those channels at all since I had signed up for the basic subscription rather than the extended basic subscription. Damn. I guess the Man caught up with me.

Final score: Internet connection is back. TV viewing is now restricted to broadcast channels plus Chicago's WGN Superstation (which will come in handy if I'm interested, say, in the weather in a city from which I moved away almost two years ago). I think I'll start paying a lot more attention to PBS from now on, especially since I joined Georgia Public Broadcasting a couple of months ago.

Once again, the cable company wins. Down with the Man!

Supreme Court Justice O'Connor to retire...

... Supreme Court nomination battle to begin sooner than expected.

With Justice O'Connor's announcement of her resignation, it became clear that President Bush's choice to replace her would represent not only an opportunity to maintain the current ideological balance in the Supreme Court but actually shift it towards the right. At stake, once again, is the fate of Roe v. Wade. With the imminent departure of Justice O'Connor, conservative opponents of Roe are already mobilizing to take advantage of what they perceive to be a golden opportunity to overturn Roe. In the words of Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council:

We in the conservative movement have been waiting for over a decade for this moment in time to see a philosophical shift in the Court and we will seize this opportunity... We will be mobilizing over 20,000 churches across the nation through a variety of means. We are in communication daily with over a million people through our website. We have brought on new staff just for this battle that is pending.

So, in other words: "Gee, we can't wait to turn this country into a misogynistic theocracy!" Good times.

Fun with science, part III

Granted, we haven't reached a point akin to Galileo's experience with the Inquisition, but who knows what the next three and a half years will bring, let alone the next presidential election.

And while I'm on the topic of bacteria, the National Academy of Sciences has thumbed its collective nose at the Department of Health and Human Services in proceeding to publish the PNAS article analyzing the ease with which the US milk supply could be contaminated with botulinum toxin and the subsequent harm that would be inflicted on the public.

Fun with science, part II

Platypi! I think the only other animal I like more is the otter. Yeah, otters rock. Otter pops, anyone?

One Congressional showdown averted...

... is another one in the wings? The House of Representatives has passed a bill that would expand federal funding on stem cell research, including embryonic stem cell research. The Senate is prepared to pass the bill and, according to Senator Arlen Spector (R-Pa), there is enough support to override a Presidential veto. President Bush, for his part, has clearly stated his disapproval of the bill and his intention to veto it.

Hmm, so, let me see if I understand this correctly. In other words... President Bush to stem cell research proponents: "Already born? Got Alzheimer's? Parkinson's? A degenerative neuromuscular disease? Too fucking bad! You're shit out of luck. Besides, I don't need your vote anymore."

Fun with science

Hey, if evolution is just a "theory," might as well question everything else under the sun, right? (Click on the images for a larger version.)





Yeah. Good times.

You've got to be kidding me

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith just opened today (or last night, rather) and already it's been seized upon by liberals and conservatives alike as Exhibit A in their respective agendas.

People, it's just a movie. Does anyone seriously believe that the man who punished movieviewers with Episodes I and II would have the artistry to craft political allegory in the guise of science fiction adventure? And don't get me started on the whole Joseph Cambell and The Hero with a Thousand Faces business, either. George Lucas practically bought out the entire sledgehammer industry to make that point.

Having said that, I've made my plans to see Episode III this Friday. Wa-hoo! What? Just because I rant about Episodes I and II doesn't mean I'm sitting out Episode III. It's become a matter of principle at this point.

Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me.

It is fucking impossible to find some sorbet in this town. What's a person got to do to get some goddam sorbet?!

Oh, and today, while walking back from campus, I saw a bird of prey (hawk? falcon? not sure) feasting on a squirrel. Right by the Chemistry Building! I kid you not. If I had a camera on me I would have captured it as proof.

In other news, the Yankees suck, the Knicks suck, the Mets are on a roll, hockey's dead, and my allergies are driving me insane.

Oh, for crying out loud

The contents of President Bush's iPod, dubbed "iPod One," have been revealed by a presidential aide. Not surprisingly, far too much has been read into what is (or isn't) on the iPod. For once, I'll give the President a break. Hell, I wouldn't want anyone making conclusions about me based on the contents of my iPod.

Frank Rich rocks

I wouldn't ordinarily associate Frank Rich's pieces in the New York Times with the term "jump the shark" but I suppose there's a time and place for everything. Check out his Op-Ed piece slamming the recent mediafests that were the Sciavo death watch and the papal death watch.

More "Flick Skinny"

"Sin City" a la "Flick Skinny". (Click on the image for a larger version.)

Culture of life?

Not to be too snarky, but... oh hell, who am I kidding? If I can't be snarky, what the hell do I have left?

Anyway. For a so-called "culture of life" that the powers-that-be are trying to encourage, we seem to be awfully obsessed with death these days. First there was Terry Schiavo's death vigil. Now we've just finished with the Pope's death vigil. Gah.

On second thought, given the unseemly morbidity of the past few week's headline news, I can't summon up the snark necessary to make myself feel better about the pathetic state to which the pop media has deteriorated. Out of respect for Pope John Paul II, I'll just have to be content with telling the pop media to go "F" itself.

Darth Tater!

It's been a slow week.

Madness. And not the March Madness variety either.

So, the tragic saga of Terry Schiavo finally blew up into a full-blown political media circus over the weekend. In a nutshell, after a Florida judge ruled in favor of Michael Schiavo to have the feeding tube removed from Terry Schiavo, Congress, in a flurry of activity (and sanctimonious, self-serving oratory), hastily constructed a bill that would allow a Federal judge to rule on the case. If anyone can be counted as being victorious, it's certainly not Michael Schiavo or his estranged in-laws. No, those who believe they have earned a "victory" will just have to be content to count themselves among the most craven political opportunists in recent memory. In the rush to appease its right-wing religious base, the emergency legislation enacted by the Republican party effectively emasculates the authority of the Florida court system and sets a dangerous precedent with respect to the relationship between the federal government and state governments. Interestingly enough, no one seems to have noticed the irony that Florida, the state that put our current president into office back in 2000, was the first state to be on the receiving end of the federal bitch-slap. It is also particularly worthwhile to note that the Republicans, the champions of states rights, were the ones who were so eager to enact this dramatic judicial intervention. Hmm, I suppose the Gingrich revolution of 1995 is finally over. I guess there is a silver lining to this whole miserable, sordid affair. Of course, with the conventional media having its collective head stuck up its ass, no one is going to pick up on the hypocrisy and Democrats will be demonized as the root of all evil in no time once again. Dammit.

Yeah. Um... duh?

This just in. FCC concludes that the 'Desperate Housewives'/'Monday Night Football' crossover intro not indecent. Oh, for crying out loud.

More journalistic goofiness

While I'm on the topic of "Jeff Gannon," here's the most recent "This Modern World" comic. (Click here for a larger version)



Argh. Once again, the substance of the scandal has been overshadowed by the "salacity" factor. (For anyone keeping score, "salacity" is a real word.) In this case, the appalling security oversight that allowed Mr. "Gannon" into the White House despite his lack of any journalistic credentials has been eclipsed by the (frankly irrelevant) fact that "Jeff Gannon" was a $200/hour male escort who ran homoerotic websites and was delinquent on his taxes.

Anyone remember Rathergate? People got themselves worked up into a frenzy over the fact that the documents were fabricated thanks to observant bloggers who knew the minutiae of the history of fonts and typewriters. No one seemed to be upset that the veracity (or lack thereof) of the purported documents did nothing to mitigate the fact that President Bush himself, arguably the president most eager to commit ground troops into action in recent memory, evaded the draft during the Vietnam War by serving in the Texas Air National Guard.

Yeesh. It's enough to drive one to distraction.

What the fuck?!

First, Bush's military records of his service (or lack thereof, I guess we'll never know at this point) in the Texas Air National Guard mysteriously "disappear." Now this bullshit about the secretly recorded audiotapes leading up to his 2000 presidential election campaign. In a nutshell, the tapes have been handed over to the White House and the matter is considered closed, according to White House press secretary Scott McClellan. Geez, I thought Ari Fleischer irritated me. The current avatar of the Mouth of Bush is just as bad. Anyway, here's the scoop from CNN.

Argh. Just one more example of how little the Bush administration regards the press media. Or rather, it seems that the administration has realized that it can punish uncooperative members of the media (and by "uncooperative" I mean "critical" and by "critical" I mean anyone with a spine who can think for themselves) while rewarding (literally!) "journalists" who are willing to squawk like parrots to promote the administration's policies. And if anyone cries foul, the administration will just unleash the force of the Justice Department on the sorry bastards who had the guts to speak out. Valerie Plame. Armstrong Williams. "Jeff Gannon." Not a shining moment in the history of American journalism right about now. Not at all.

Yay! It's "Flick Skinny"!

Here's the most recent "Flick Skinny" strip, a review of "Constantine." (Click on the image to get a larger version.)



As for me, I saw "Constantine" last weekend and was pleasantly surprised. And by "surprised," I mean that I walked into the movie with no expectations whatsoever and walked out thoroughly entertained. Personally, I would have liked the tone of the film to have been a bit darker, but for the first movie in the franchise (at least, I hope there's a franchise to be had here), I think they did a good job on the whole.

The tortoise and the... hippo?

So, it seems that a young hippopotamus calf in Kenya was swept away from his mother as a result of last month's tsunami. He was pulled into the Indian Ocean and then washed back onto the Kenyan shore where he was found and taken to a local wildlife refuge. Missing his mother, the young hippo has latched onto an aged male Aldabran giant tortoise as a surrogate mother. Apparently, things are going swimmingly. The hippo follows the tortoise everywhere. Kind of cute. Let's hope that the prudes in power over here don't find out about this story. Who knows, given the recent SpongeBob flap, they'll probably try to read something about gender confusion into this and try to ban that "Hungry, Hungry Hippos" game from way back when.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

SpongeBob! SquarePants!

Yup. Another story on SpongeBob's insidious assault on the moral integrity of our country's children.

You've got to be kidding me

So George W. Bush was inaugurated for his second presidential term. Haven't heard all the news yet, but NPR seemed kind of petty in one segment where they nitpicked some aspects of his address. Not that I'm defending President Bush; it's more that I'm disappointed that NPR would succomb to such high school behavior.

On to more important issues: the newest enemy of moral decency is none other than... SpongeBob SquarePants. According to an article in this evening's online edition of the New York Times, the conservative advocacy group Focus on the Family has targeted SpongeBob SquarePants as an advocate for tolerance towards homosexuality.

Un-fucking-believable. Guerilla war in Iraq. Ongoing military operations in Afghanistan. Active efforts to dismantle Social Security. An Attorney General who has no regard for our Constitution or international law. And the most pressing issue is SpongeBob SquarePants?

In other news, I'm totally psyched for Darth Tater. Episode III may totally suck (or it may actually be decent, we'll have to see) but Darth Tater rocks. Check it out.

Deep Impact takes off...

... be afraid. Be very afraid.

Am I the only one apprehensive about this? Does no one else remember Star Blazers? Specifically, the Comet Empire. We couldn't fuck with them back then (i.e., the late '70s when Star Blazers was in its US TV run); what makes us think that we're up to the task now?

That's dedication

OK, I'll try not to post anymore Lord of the Rings stuff for a little while. I just finished going through the extended edition of Return of the King. (Took me two nights. Gah, I must be getting old.) My comments later. But first, this is from Flagpole, the local alternative newsweekly here in Athens. One of the movie critics took it upon himself to watch all three of the extended editions back-to-back-to-back in one sitting. What follows are his hour-by-hour musings (comments in brackets are mine):

Since first seeing The Fellowship of the Ring, I have salivated over the idea of experiencing all three films in one single viewing. With the Dec. 14 release of The Return of the King Special Extended Edition, this dream could finally be fulfilled. So with popcorn, pizza and Southfarthing leaf at hand, I began the longest cinematic journey of my life one Saturday morn at 10:30 am.

Hour 1. The first of countless over-pronounced Morders is uttered. Ian McKellan gets his ass handed to him by 80-year old Christopher Lee in the battle of the Geriatrics. Look, Peter Jackson is eating and burping through the streets of Bree. [Ooo, I'll have to look out for that!]

Hour 2. The day's first bathroom break occurring in only the second hour is a bad sign. What is Sawyer from "Lost" doing here? Wait, it is just Viggo.

Hour 3. Has anyone else realized how much the Balrog resembles Dio's all-pervading Devil?

Hour 4. Boromir's amazingly painful death is also a great moment of cinematic redemption. Fellowship ends at 1:53 pm with Two Towers beginning at 2:04 pm.

Hour 5. The fifth hour begins with Miranda Otto, Karl Urban, Bernard Hill, Brad Dourif, Treebeard and Gandalf the White all stopping by.

Hour 6. The Gollum/Smeagol conversation - the best scene of the series and 2002 - is funny, sad, and the best performance Andy Serkis will ever give.

Hour 7. The Elves appearance at Helm's Deep represents deus ex machina numero uno. The Energizer Battle of Helm's Deep begins at 5:00 pm sharp. Deus ex machina number two, Gandalf and the Rohirrim, appear.

Hour 8. It is 5:30 pm., and the battle still rages. I am surprisingly lucid at the seven and one quarter hours mark. Return begins at 6:05 pm, as does the pizza and beer. The restored confrontation with Saruman is nice but nothing to get worked up over. I would so take Eowyn over Arwen.

Hour 10. [Hey, what happened to Hour 9?] Of all the long hair, that of David Wenham (Faramir) is the worst. That new skull avalanche is tight.

Hour 11. The siege of Gondor is in full-swing, and I sit pondering the Orc who designed that faboo ["faboo"? The fuck?] battering ram. Legolas' oliphant-surfing proves once and for all who the biggest badass is.

Hour 12. I liked Rankin-Bass' Mount Doom better. [I hope you didn't like their songs as well. Did you like Thundercats? Thundercats rocked.] A fourth and final deus ex machina, the eagles, saves Frodo and Sam. [What was the third deus ex machina? Oh, nevermind.] The Eye of Sauron could use some Visine. Sam cries for the eight-billionth time, as do I whilst sitting through all these frigging endings. At 10:15 pm, 11 hours and 45 minutes since Fellowship began, the final credits roll.

The final tale of the tape: 705 minutes, 3 films, 6 DVDs, 1 pot of coffee, 2 breakfast pastries, 1 bag of popcorn, 1 Coke, 2 cookies, 1 pizza, 3 beers, 1 candy bar, 6 bathroom breaks, 0 phone calls, 2 roommates, and 1 cat (never really a factor). - Drew Wheeler

As for me, what's stands out the most from the extended edition of RotK was probably the parlay with the Mouth of Sauron. (Of course, this might change upon subsequent viewings.) I don't know whose idea it was, but for some reason, the Mouth of Sauron was really twitchy. It's as if he had some kind of neck tic. Even better, every time he twitched his head, he'd gnash his teeth, which got me thinking that behind all his insults and threats, what he was really trying to say was: "Do you see anything different about my smile? I got my teeth whitened. I used Colgate whitening strips. My dentist recommended them. I can give you his name if you're interested."

Maybe after all the fighting and crying and handwringing over Sauron's stupid ring (which, incidentally, I still don't understand how it fits over his finger if you look at the gauntlet he's wearing in the beginning of Fellowship of the Ring), perhaps Tolkien's moral was to practice good dental hygiene.